all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize