Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
