Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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