It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
