Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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