I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They took my balls.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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