he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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