I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
