No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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