During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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