i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
