Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
