My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
