I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
