i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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