Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
