so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
