Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
