the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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