He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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