It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
