Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
