I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
