if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
