she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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