Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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