Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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