Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
