I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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