Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
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Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
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I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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