CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
