No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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