This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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