community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
