So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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