my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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