How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just cropdusted the office
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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