There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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