Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
