Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize