ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
