how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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