what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
