Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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