Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
