I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
