yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
