what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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