glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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