OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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