you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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