Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she smelled like a LAN party
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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