I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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