Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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