What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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