they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i've created a new STD.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
