I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
