just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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