I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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