My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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