Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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